Ban the bow? Oh no

Who says government and politics aren’t fun? It’s been downright entertaining in our river cities lately.

The Mankato City Council has been tackling the issue of urban chickens with a fervor and gravity usually reserved for debates on stem-cell research.

Those who think it would be nice to have a few chickens in a backyard coop note that cities large and small allow people to get some fresh eggs raising a few hens on their own property.

Opponents painted a sort of chicken-induced Armageddon should the ordinance pass.

I suppose their fears could be realized. Imagine chickens fleeing their coops, creating a flock of feral fowl menacing the city. Poor college students walking home from the bars, accosted by a band of pullets. Chickens raiding bird feeders, scaring children and laying eggs willy-nilly around town.

It’s hard to understand the passion against a few birds in town.

What better pet than the chicken? They don’t require much attention or any affection, they’re compact, tough, quiet — and taste fantastic, pan-seared in a nice rosemary sauce over a bed of sautéed spinach.

While Mankato struggles over whether to give people more rights and leeway on their own property, North Mankato was looking at ways to limit them by passing a ban on using BB guns, paintball guns, bows and arrows and slingshots outdoors on private property.

They can, under the ordinance, be used indoors. Just how, may I ask, am I going to talk the bunnies into coming into my house?

The vote comes on the heels of the now infamous Calendar Parking Debacle of 2009, an ugly chapter in local history in which droves of residents came after council members like the torch-carrying villagers went after Frankenstein.

Maybe the ferocity of people’s reaction to having to move their cars every night all winter is why the council wanted to take a few more weapons out of the hands of its citizens.

Perhaps the city will have one of those buy-back programs. There could be a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy if little boys turn in their BB guns and slingshots to City Hall.

There’s a rich tradition of BB guns and boys. They won’t get my Daisy Red Ryder until they pry it from my cold dead hands.

I’ll have to check the ordinance to see if it says anything about my potato gun. It won’t take out an eye, but it can leave a beaut of a bruise.

I guess to really make the town safe we should ban kids from yards. OK, there are precious few who go into backyards anymore — it’s so hard to see the LCD screen on the portable XBox when the sun glares off it. But occasionally, the young ones venture out and they invariably whack things with sticks, throw a rock or otherwise undertake extremely unsafe and childish conduct.

I was planning to buy my grandson, Will, a Nerf bow and arrow this spring so he could shoot it in our backyard. I’d settled on either the Nerf Big Bad Bow or the Nerf Sonic Stinger.

But a bow and arrow is a bow and arrow. Hate to see the little tyke in lockup.

Still, I might flaunt the law. Someone needs to take a stand.

Remember. If Nerf Bows and Arrows are outlawed, only outlaws will have Nerf Bows and Arrows.

Tim Krohn is a Free Press staff writer. He can be contacted at 344-6383 or

email him Tim by clicking here