Taking a trip down the grocery aisle — and then another

Steve Espenson has seen the look in the eyes of countless grocery shoppers as they desperately scan down the aisle looking for something that isn’t where they think it should be.

The Cub Food west store director can lead them, with pinpoint accuracy, to the right spot. He was taking me to the cocoa powder, which, I learned, is not in the hot chocolate aisle but tucked in the baking aisle on the top shelf.

He said the cocoa is commonly asked for, but not the most asked for item. Here’s a clue to the thing almost no one seems to find: It’s the final ingredient in a classic Minnesota dish that is baked in a glass casserole and present at virtually any potluck you’ll go to. (I’ll give you the answer later.)

There are two ways to grocery shop — my way and the right way.

They say not to shop when hungry and to always stick to your list. I think it’s more rewarding shopping when you’re hungry. There’s instant gratification from impulsively grabbing tasty things off the shelves that you can imagine sliding in the oven when you get home. So what if you buy enough for nine meals, you can eat it later.

You are supposed to write a detailed list of what you need to buy and stick to it. The truly organized shoppers have items grouped by their location in the store.

I like to pull out several crumpled scraps of paper with various items scrawled down and head aimlessly through the store trying to remember what was written on them. It’s good exercise, repeatedly zig-zagging back and forth across the length of the store to retrieve things.

There are a variety of gadgets and software programs designed to make your shopping easier. You can load in the items you want and a hand-held computer will group them together and guide you to the right aisles.

I’d rather ask the store employees where to find things. It can be like a “stump the shelf-stocker game.” I like to ask for obscure things even though I’m not buying them. “Could you tell me where the pickled kippers are? How about bulgur? Oh, and the kava and dried bananas.”

The employees are incredibly adept at knowing where things are. Still, with as many as 100,000 new grocery store items introduced across the country in any given year, even the shelf stockers are constantly learning.

Some items don’t easily fit in any category. Velveeta is not with the cheese. Which should tell you all you need to know about Velveeta.

Some product placements provide interesting juxtapositions. In one grocery I saw frozen cream puffs right above the frozen Weight Watchers meals, which seems a particularly cruel thing to do to people trying to lose weight.

The expensive non-nutritious stuff is easy to find — it’s stocked eye-level and prominently on the shelves, with the sugary foods for kids put down low where they can grab them.

Nothing is left to chance in stocking shelves. Grocery industry groups track every detail of consumer behavior and marketing ploys, from the color of packages to the wording in advertising. (Signs promoting 10 for $10 makes more people buy 10 of the items even though they will still only pay $1 per item if they buy fewer.)

Me, I’m a grocery marketers dream — impulsive, easily confused, poor at calculating unit costs and a sucker for bright, flashy packaging.

Even if I can’t find what I originally came for, I’ll buy plenty of other stuff.

So what’s the item Espenson finds most people can’t find? The crispy onion bits that are sprinkled on top of green bean casserole.

If you’re looking, they’re on the top shelf in the canned vegetable aisle, between the marinated artichoke hearts and the turnip greens.

Tim Krohn is a Free Press staff writer. He can be contacted at 344-6383 or tkrohn@mankatofreepress.com.