By Nell Musolf
The word “remodeling” makes most people think of changing the family home.
For author and Mankato native Kristin Maschka, the remodeling that she wrote about in her recently released parenting book, “This is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today,” pertains to changing how women think about motherhood.
Maschka, a first-time author who is back in Mankato while on a promotional tour, says, “The biggest challenge for mothers today is that we’ve changed what we want — yet the world around us hasn’t caught up.”
The author came up with the title for her book because she found herself saying or thinking repeatedly that motherhood was not how she thought it would be following the birth of her daughter, Kate.
“Like many mothers, I found that there was a big disconnect between the way I thought motherhood in the 21st century would be and the way it turns out to be.”
After Kate was born, Maschka joined the national membership organization Mothers & More, a group that gives mothers the opportunities to focus on themselves and the “more” they are looking for in life. Maschka quickly developed a passion to help as many mothers as possible and founded a local chapter of Mothers & More in Pasadena, Calif., where she now lives with her husband and daughter, serving as the organization’s national president for four years.
At the same time, she enrolled in an online writing course offered by UCLA to give herself an outlet from round-the-clock child care.
In addition to writing, Maschka continued to read voraciously about motherhood.
“I was reading books and articles, trying to understand why motherhood was so different from what I expected,” says Maschka.
She believes that the enormous amount of information available to mothers today creates an unrealistic expectation of what motherhood is all about and also what a “good” mother should and shouldn’t do.
“I know my own mother didn’t agonize about the vaccination debate or making her own baby food to avoid pesticides or showing us special videos to make us smarter,” Maschka says.
Believing that mothers need to find new ways to remodel motherhood, itself, to fit each mom’s unique personality and situation was the inspiration behind her book.
“Each of us is in a different place, and I’m confident that in ‘Remodeling Motherhood’ each mother can find one or more actions she can take tomorrow in an area that is challenging for her today.”
In addition to anecdotes from Maschka’s own journey into motherhood, the book also offers Remodeling Tools at the end of each chapter to help mothers make the changes Maschka describes.
“I hope my book provides the simple, concrete tools mothers need to remodel motherhood for themselves, their families and their futures.”
Fathers aren’t ignored in Maschka’s book, as she notes that what dads want has also changed over the years. “Today fathers want to be more involved with their families and are feeling just as much conflict as mothers do. That wasn’t as true 30 years ago.”
Maschka sees the book as a kind of companion for mothers.
“Like the good friend you talk with over coffee, who shares her experience,” she said.
Her book will help to reveal the hidden assumptions most people have about parenthood, assumptions that may be outdated and might interfere with what many mothers want their lives to be like.
Maschka’s parents, Kathleen and Jerry Maschka of Mankato, are proud of their daughter’s new book.
“It’s been interesting to see the younger generation’s take on motherhood,” her mother says. “Kristin wrote about a lot of things my generation might have noticed but didn’t articulate as well.”
While in Mankato, Maschka plans to see her East High School composition teacher, Gretchen Etzell, who helped work on “Remodeling Motherhood.”
“Kristin sent me portions of her book, and I’d tell her that I didn’t hear Kristin in the book and that she needed to use her own voice. When she did, it was great. I think she’s really written something exciting.”
If You Go
What: Mankato native Kristin Maschka will sign and read excerpts from her new book, “This is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today”
Where: Barnes and Noble Bookstore, River Hills Mall, 1850 Adams St., Mankato
When: 6:30 p.m. Monday
