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  • Mankato Loyola ninth- and 10th-grade students begin a daylong retreat on bullying and respect by warming up with a group exercise in which each person leaned on the knees of the person behind them. The retreat was sponsored by the new Patricia and Douglas Johnson Religious and Spiritual Endowment Fund. John Cross

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  • During Wednesday’s anti-bullying workshop, Twin Cities-based nonprofit Youth Frontiers led students through a series of discussions and exercises. John Cross

    Retreat2

December 1, 2010

Loyola hosts day-long retreat to beat bullying

By Tanner Kent The Free Press

MANKATO — Ashley Mettler remembers the fear of freshman year.

She was terrified of the older girls, the ones who made nasty remarks, defaced her locker and threatened her self-esteem.

Now a senior herself, Mettler made a pledge in front of Loyola’s entire freshman and sophomore classes to not repeat the cycle:

“I don’t want you guys to ever feel the way I felt. I want to be a senior you look up to and you’re not afraid of.”

 To confront the topic of bullying and respect for others, Mankato Loyola hosted a daylong retreat for its ninth- and 10th-grade students Wednesday. Several seniors, including Mettler, volunteered to participate as student leaders.

The retreat was facilitated by Youth Frontiers. The Twin Cities-based nonprofit has spent more than two decades developing a K-12 curriculum to help build “positive school communities” by reinforcing the need to respect self, respect others and to stand up for those who need help. Youth Frontiers has held more than 600 such workshops in schools across the nation in the last year alone.

Loyola’s event began with ice-breaking exercises meant to help students loosen up and break free from their usual social habits. Students tried a number of trust-building activities, discussed the definition of respect in small groups and conducted skits on the topic.

But the heavy emotional lifting came at the end of the day when students had a chance to share what they learned.

Several students admitted they wanted to treat others better. One said she wanted to be less sarcastic; one wanted to stop gossiping; one wanted to reach out to “those who are alone.”

Another student admitted she is bullied often and needs to learn to respect herself. Then, a fellow student stood up, admitted she had witnessed her classmate’s bullying and regretted she had not done more to help.

Laura Kottschade, a senior who attended the retreat, was among those who made it a personal goal to stick up for others. But Kottschade said that can be difficult in the sometimes painfully judgmental world of high school.

“You can’t be afraid of what people will say to you,” she said. “Bullying is not fun. And everyone has been in that position.”

Mettler said she only wished she could have had the experience sooner.

“This was life-changing for me,” she said. “I wish I could’ve had this when I was a freshman so I could’ve carried this through high school with me.”

When the retreat finished, many students were hugging; several were crying. And John Sandahl, one of two Youth Frontiers staff who led the event, urged them all to turn what they had learned into action.

“The work of today is not what you’ve done here,” he told students. “The real work is what happens tomorrow, and the next day, and the next month and the next year.”

The retreat was sponsored by the Patricia and Douglas Johnson Religious and Spiritual Endowment Fund. The endowment sprouted from the family’s effort to memorialize Patricia, a longtime educator and substitute teacher, after her recent death. Daughter Julie Wylie said her parents intend the endowment to be used toward hosting events that will strengthen the spiritual character of Loyola’s youth.

Last year the endowment was used to host a staff retreat with Youth Frontiers, and it will be used in future years to sponsor more retreats with students.

“What we’re trying to do is build a strong spiritual culture,” Wylie said.

 

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