MANKATO — Saturday morning Melissa Schreifels will profess her vows in front of God, her family and many friends.

A dinner and celebration will follow with hugs from loved ones who are sharing in the biggest day of her life.

But instead of a white dress, she will wear black. And there will be no dance afterward for the bride and groom. In fact, there will be no groom at all.

On Saturday Sister Melissa is making it official: She’s professing her perpetual vows as a School Sister of Notre Dame at Our Lady of Good Counsel in Mankato, committing herself fully to a life of service to God.

“The ultimate thing for me is this commitment is the best way where I feel like I can give my everything, my best self back to God,” said Sister Melissa, 43, of Bloomington. “It’s a wonderful way to live.”

A different path

Sister Melissa was born in 1968 and grew up in Sartell. She had one brother and sister, and the siblings were raised Catholic, attending St. Francis Xavier Catholic School in Sartell.

She first met the School Sisters of Notre Dame at St. Francis. On and off during early childhood she considered becoming a nun, she said.

“Then I kind of forgot about it over the years.”

She attended Creighton University in Omaha and graduated with a degree in pharmacy. She worked as a pharmacist in Omaha before moving back to Minnesota in 2002, where she worked at Target in Minneapolis.

She was making good money. She had an apartment in the big city. She dated. But there was something missing.

“I felt like I wanted to do something more.” 

She did a lot of volunteer work and helped with confirmation retreats for a few years.

It wasn’t enough. She said she started to feel God’s “pull,” which certainly was not as clear as a voice or a vision.

“For a lot of years I didn’t know either. God never said, ‘This is what I want you to do.’ It would have been easier,” she said with a laugh. “I just did a lot of soul searching. ... It wasn’t really like getting knocked over the head.”

She had reconnected with the School Sisters at a retreat and became an affiliate in December 2002. She started “hanging out with people” in the church more and seeking advisement from a spiritual director to help determine what God was asking of her, she said.

There was a lot to consider. Sister Melissa was drawn to become a nun, but in the back of her mind she had always thought she would get married and have kids, despite never having strong feelings about that lifestyle.

“I never felt called to family life. I never really felt that deep, deep longing (to be a mother),” she said. “I just wanted to be with people and help people.”

Sister Joyce Kolbet met Sister Melissa in 2002 and became her companion to help “walk with her” as she tried to discern her life’s path. Kolbet remembers how reserved and somewhat shy Sister Melissa was then, and she’s watched her come out of her shell the past decade.

“Initially, she described herself as Mild Melissa, which she was,” said Sister Joyce, who is part of the vocation team for the Central Pacific Province of the School Sisters of Notre Dame. “Now she really loves conversation, and she’s easy to be around.”

With time and prayer came conviction. Sister Melissa kept taking steps toward becoming a sister, progressing from affiliate to postulant to novice and finally taking temporary vows as a School Sister of Notre Dame in August 2006.

“I’ve been under vows for six years. (With my) first vows, in my heart I meant it to be forever,” she said. “So I’m ready to commit. This is sort of the natural progression. It’s more of a final commitment.”

The right path

Some people may imagine sisters spending every day in constant, silent prayer within the walls of convents. That’s certainly not what Sister Melissa’s days look like, nor is that how other sisters’ lives are spent as School Sisters of Notre Dame.

While working as a part-time pharmacist, Sister Melissa began taking classes to become a math teacher in 2008 and is working on her master’s degree in instruction. She actually wanted to be a high school teacher at one point, she said.

“All these years later, I finally get my chance,” she said.

Sister Melissa works as a middle school math teacher at St. Michael Catholic School in Prior Lake. She still works part time as a pharmacist, and she lives with another School Sister of Notre Dame in a house in Bloomington. And she doesn’t miss living alone in her “nice apartment in downtown Minneapolis.”

“I’m a better person when I’m living in community,” she said. “I’m not really about the material things.”

She doesn’t feel like she’s given anything up the past six years that was of real value, she said.

“It’s so worth it. What I give up pales in comparison to what I’ve received.”

Sister Joyce said Sister Melissa’s feelings of fulfillment are signs she has chosen the right path; they are feelings shared by thousands of other School Sisters of Notre Dame across the world.

“In many ways that is a misconception that people have about our life is that we give up so much. We don’t focus on that because there are so many things we receive, so many graces and gifts that are part of being in community and being a part of a mission that’s beyond ourselves,” Sister Joyce said.

And it’s not like fun time is over, either. The sisters have normal lives like everybody else, she said. They can go on vacation (she likes to go camping), they can eat ice cream, they can play games, they laugh.

“We pray together a lot. We eat together. We support one another,” she said.

Sister Melissa leads a full, happy life, she said. And she’s looking forward to making it permanent Saturday morning as she vows to live simply, faithfully and in service to God through a life of poverty, celibacy and obedience.

“It’s more permanent,” Sister Melissa said. “It’s more of a deeper sense of peace and ownership and belonging and gratitude — gratitude of the community, to God. ...

“It’s a big deal. It’s one of the biggest days of my life. It’s the biggest day of my life.”